Giant zucchini are good for things other than dirty jokes.

Summer is rolling along, and we are getting close to that time of year when every back yard garden and farmer's market will be full of zucchini and summer squash, some of which will be monstrous in size. These monster zucchinis were one of my favorite things when I was a kid. Part of that is because I always love eating zucchini, part of that is because a zucchini the size of a baseball bat is really cool looking, and mostly it is because my grandmother uses those huge zukes to make stuffed zucchini, which is just delicious.

A few years ago, my friends and I stumbled across some of these giant zukes at a farmers market for like a dollar a piece. I immediately ran up and grabbed one shouting, "Yo, let's stuff these mother fuckers." none of my friends had any clue what I was talking about, other than the ones that thought I was making a dirty joke. I guess I had assumed that since my grandmother made them, and they were so delicious, that everyone would make stuffed zucchini. I appear to have been wrong. My friend Pete did say that it sounded similar to a Middle Eastern dish, but I can't remember the name of it.

That day, I made it my mission to work out a vegan version of my grandma's stuffed zucchini, that I loved so much. It took a couple of shots, but I like to think that I now have it pretty much nailed. My grandmother's original version was basically sweet Italian sausage, tomatoes, and rice, topped with melted cheese and bread crumbs. I have found that you can match that pretty closely using TVP, seitan or veggie burger crumbles, with the right spices. I use TVP because it is getting really easy to find(you can get it at most grocery stores now) and it is pretty cheap. The cheese and breadcrumb topping is not essential, but is damned tasty, so if you have a hard time finding either of them vegan, just leave em out, and you will still have a fine meal.

p.s. This recipe makes like 15 servings, so make it for a party, or be prepared to eat it for a week. Either way it is tasty enough to be a success. You can cut the recipe in half and use smaller zucchinis, but I prefer the giant zukes. There isn't really a taste difference in the zucchini, but the ratio of stuffing to zuke is better balanced in the larger guys.

Grandma Davies' Stuffed Giant Zucchini (veganized)

Ingredients
1 - Gigantic zucchini (zukes about a foot and a half long and as big around as a softball are ideal)
2 cups - short grain rice (cooked as per the instructions on the package)
1 - 28 oz. can peeled chopped plum tomatoes, drained (I would save the liquid for veggie stock)
1 1/2 cups - Re-hydrated TVP crumbles (or 2 cups thawed frozen veggie burger crumbles)
1 - med onion, minced
10 oz. - Vegan Mozzarella, shredded (my favorites are Follow Your Heart Vegan Gourmet and Chicago Soy Dairy Teese)
1/4 cup vegan bread crumbs
6 - cloves garlic, minced
1/2 tsp - Thyme
1/2 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp rosemary leaves
1/2 tbsp fennel seeds
1/2 tbsp salt
1 tbsp - cooking oil

Equipment
2 - med sauce pots
1 - large cookie sheet
1 - large salad bowl
1 - food processor or blender (non-essential)
knife, cutting board, etc...

Cooking

• In a medium sauce pot, prepare the rice as per the directions on the package.
• Put the onions, garlic, salt and oil in the other sauce pot over medium heat, stirring frequently.
• In your blender or food processor pulse all of the spices until they are roughly broken up. If you don't have a blender or processor, just put the spices on your cutting board and chop them with a chefs knife. It will work just fine but take a lot longer.
• Once the onions become translucent add the spices and continue to sautee for about a minute.
  
• Add the TVP (or veggie burger) and tomatoes and continue to stir frequently until it comes to a boil. (This by it's self is an awesome pasta sauce.)
• Once the rice is finished, combine the rice and sauce in your salad bowl and set aside to cool.
• Cut your monster zuke in half length wise and trim the ends just enough to remove the stem spot. Be careful with your trimming, because we need to preserve the integrity of the vessel.
• Using a large spoon, scoop out all the seeds and guts. I would say that you should save this for stock or compost, but it is worthless in stock, and will turn your compost into a zucchini farm, so you should just get rid of it.
• Use a fork to poke a bunch of holes all over the inside and outside of the zucchini pieces.
• Rub the outside of the zucchini with a little oil and arrange the two halves on the cookie sheet.
• If the zucchini halves are unstable, use wadded up tinfoil to steady them.
• The filling doesn't have to be all the way down to room temperature before you stuff, but you should let it cool enough to thicken up well. This will make it easier to create a nice mound.
• Stuff each side with enough filling to make a mound about and inch and a half above the top of the vessel. (You will probably have a little leftover, maybe more depending on your zuke size. You can just eat it by it's self, or it freezes pretty well, and can be used to stuff peppers, squash flowers (now that is a recipe I might have to blog soon!) or lots of other veggies.)
• Place the stuffed zukes into a 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes, testing with a fork every few minutes after you pass the 10 minute mark. The cooking time is going to change a lot based on how cool the stuffing was and how thick the zuke walls are.
• Once the flesh is still firm, but you can poke into it without too much resistance, take them out and turn your oven up to broil, or the hottest setting it has.
• Give each side of the zuke a nice coating of soy cheese and then an even dusting of bread crumbs.
• Put the zukes back under the broiler and watch them closely until the cheese is nice and melty.
• Be careful because soy cheese doesn't like to melt, so your bread crumbs might start to over brown before the cheese looks really melted. If that is the case just go ahead and take them out, they will be perfect.

Alternate Version
Don't like fake meats? Try using 1 1/2 cups dry brown lentils, prepared as per the package's instructions, in place of the TVP. It will still taste great, the rice/legume combo is a great source of protein, and it will make this dish totally gluten free.

The Apartment Pizza!

Sunday afternoon I was struck with the intense desire to eat mass quantities of pizza. Now I don't get into snotty vegan trash talking, so I wont talk about the locations themselves, but I will say that the vegan pizza options in Philly are good only because they are vegan. They do not satisfy my cravings for serious pizza. It probably has something to do with the fact that I think that the pizza in 90% of this country is terrible and not worth paying for. This post is not so much about sharing a recipe as it is about sharing an adventure.

I already had some left over fra diavlo sauce from last week, so that was all the push I needed. I set off in the gorgeous Sunday sun, in search of ingredients. A stop at some Italian Market veggie stands, whole foods and a pizza place that has decent crust, yeilded marinated artichoke hearts, spicy olives, zucchini, red onions, fresh raw dough and Follow Your Heart soy cheese(I know that I talk a mean game about not wasting money on pre-packaged foods, but this stuff is awesome and totally worth shelling out a little extra cash for.) I then headed right home and got to work. All told I spent maybe $20 on ingredients for two huge gourmet pizzas.

You will notice that I bought dough from a pizzeria, instead of making my own. Not all pizzerias will sell raw dough, but some will. Having a good relationship with the owner certainly helps. Most of the time I do make my own dough, but I was more interested in spending the afternoon walking around in the sun, then fussing with dough. If you want to take a shot at making your own, I use Peter Reinhart's recipe from his book, The Bread Baker's Apprentice that I found in the 101 Cookbooks Blog

First I stretched the dough out and set it in sheet pans, which I then covered with a damp towel to rise a bit. I prefer a pan style pizza. I like how the edge crust rises up nice, and the under crust is crispy. My face is covered in this picture, not because I care that anyone knows what I look like, but because I look like a total goon. It is a good picture of dough stretching though.



To stretch dough:

• Start by spreading a healthy layer of flour on your counter.
• Put your dough ball on the counter and use your palms to press it down into a flat disk. I find it best to use a slight turning motion while pressing repeatedly.
  
• Once the ball is a disc, make a sign languace C with both hands, laying the dough over the back of your knuckles.
  
• begin rotating the dough and stretching it slightly by skooting your hands back and forth. Most of the stretching should come from the weight of the dough, not from your movement. Be careful to keep your hands towards the edge, or the center will get too thin.
• If you use rectangular pans like I do, stretch the dough until it overlaps the narrower sides of the pan by about an inch on each side, and then man handle it a little to make it fit the rectangular shape.
• Make sure that the pan is greased with vegetable oil before you put the crust in it.
  

Once the dough was stretched, I set too prepping all of my ingredients. There are very few things in this world that I am anal about. Food prep is one of them. Clockwise starting with the plate, we have Follow Your Heart cheese, red onion, thin sliced zuchini, spicy olives and marinated artichoke hearts. Not pictured is veggie burger crumble, which I kept in the freezer.



Once the the dough had set for about 20 minutes, I got it ready to hop in the oven. I made two pies:

One White -
Crust smeared with:
1/2 head of garlic, 1 tbsp olive oil and the ends of the soy cheese that got too small to safely grate. Put all ingredients in a food processor or blender and puree into a paste.

Topped with:
Marinated artichoke hearts, cut into 8ths, thinly sliced zucchini (I used a veggie peeler to keep my slices thin and consistent) red onions and soy cheese.

One Red -
Crust smeared with: Left over Fra Diavlo sauce, but any left over pasta sauce would work ok (as long as you made it your self.)
Topped with: Veggie burger crumbles, spicy olives and soy cheese.

The red pie waiting on deck


Baking the pies:

• Pizza LOVES a very hot oven. I usually bake pies at 550 degrees, which is as hot as most conventional ovens will go.
• If you have a pizza stone, take out your oven racks and place the stone on the bottom for gas ovens. For electric ovens, put your stone on the lowest rack.
  
• Start your pies in the sheet pan, and leave your oven light on, you will need to watch them pretty closely. As the pies grow bubbles, reach in and pop them with a knife or pizza cutter, so you don't end up with a mutant pizza.
  
• Check the pie every few minutes by lifting a corner slightly with a spatula. When the crust is firm enough that the pie starts to lift out, instead of just bending the corner, slip the pie out of the pan and let it finish just sitting on the rack or stone.
• Your pie is done when the outer crust has a nice golden brown color.
  

The white pie just about firm enough to come out of the pan and finish baking.



A plate of amazing



A first person view of the best moment of my year.